Love, lust, and the complications in between.
Here is what most of us do. We find someone, we like them, we fall for them, and after it’s all over with, we denounce that we didn’t love them at all.
Seriously though, what is love? Is what your feeling just the chemicals in your body? Or is it something we can’t measure and just try to define. Like having a soul, or a spirit. Is there some connection between two people that science won’t ever fully explain? We all like to think so.
We all like to believe that what we have with someone is undefinable and no one outside of it can understand it. But is that really true?
I don’t believe so. I believe every.newfound love is different. And you shouldn’t compare what you have now, with what you had before. But how do you know when you found love for the first time, or found it again? That’s where lust comes in. We attribute lust to a quickly failed relationship or a fling. And everyone understands those, right? We attribute love to a more lasting relationship, something no one can fathom besides the two people in love.
Now, I’ve been in love a few times. The first time lasted, but it felt more like a business deal that I constantly stressed over. The third time felt more like something valuable, but easily destroyed. So I had to constantly maintain it. The 2nd time though, I was never in a relationship with her. And to this day, everything that had ever stemmed from that still lurks around in my thoughts.
All 3 loves, each different, each incomparable. But I have also loved many times, not in love, but loved. How do you distinguish the two? You can’t. Not while you’re still involved with it. It’s taken me years and sleepless nights to distinguish what I had with who. You have to see how much it effects you afterwards before you judge yourself and the relationship.
That’s a problem with people now. We strive to love, but we are impatient with it. A few good months and we tell the world were in love, then it all crumbles and we tell ourselves otherwise. Or if we had to put up with a lot, we tell ourselves we had to be in love to let ourself deal with so much. Ever think you are just plain stupid? Sure, you keep giving someone the benefit of the doubt. But they in return, keep hurting you. You tell yourself it’s love, because that helps you get through the pain. Sometimes I think everyone should take a step back and judge themselves. We are taught that judging is wrong, but that is because sometimes those judgments can hurt feelings. But that is what our generation needs. It needs to be hurt upfront. We need to be real with ourselves and correct our own problems before anyone else has the chance to tell you how they see you.
I don’t know where any of this came from. Probably my failed attempts at relationships since November. Feedback is nice.
